Tuesday, October 6, 2020

A Short Post but a Wonderful Day

The Ridge

Tuesday, Oct. 6th it was a go-go day from beginning to supper time. I left the Suite before Bill to clean the Mat and then after picking up some items at Foodland, had a quick turnaround at home before driving over to Mitch’s. I worked steady for 3 hours, sanding, taping and papering. Brian was working in the other shop but I don’t know what he was doing. My mind was preoccupied. I left at noon, went home for lunch and drove to Durham.  Now, I’ll tell you about Donna’s call yesterday.

What? What are you looking at?

She’d received a call from Rockwood Terrace, Mom’s residence. She’d fallen – again. This is happening a lot but they are usually just soft ‘crumbles’ rather than falls that do any harm. Thank goodness. She informed Donna (us) that Mom has not eaten for 4 days and isn’t consuming liquids. These are the means for the staff to get Mom’s meds into her. Her aggressiveness/agitation has warranted a calming medication. She is not getting her meds and yet has no energy to be aggressive either. 

This little guy obviously had something on his mind
but I just thought he was cute

Long story short, they feel that Mom is in the last stages, calling it ‘End of Life’ rather than Palliative. The reasoning for that designation is that Mom has proved pretty miraculous before and bounced right back. With the exception of her mind, I mean. Although this is very sad for all of us, at 94 ½ we have been expecting it a few times. The ‘blessing’ in the whole news is that we, her children, can visit as often as we like, at any time of day, one at a time, WITHOUT a Covid test.


So far, we’ve taken turns, three of us. We’ve been greeted upon entry by staff, we've had our temperature taken, we've been gowned and masked, and (the good part) we’ve sat with her in her room for an hour. We can actually stay as long as we wish to. Mom, isn’t Mom. Some of you know this experience, this existence, but my visit today meant the world to me. I touched her, talked to her, sang to her, watched her take drinks from a straw (for the first time in 3 days), and enjoyed her chatter and frequent toothless grins. Oh my, it was fulfilling.

Rockwood Terrace

I left there with a smile on my face knowing I’ll be back often, as will my other siblings. I spent the afternoon in Hanover. Before leaving home, I'd made a list of places to go and things to look for. I was in and out of Mark’s, Walmart, Independent grocers and pulled into The Ridge at 4:30 within minutes of Bill returning home from work. He had stopped on the way hoe so had a full propane tank in the back of the truck.

I skipped dessert but maybe popcorn is in order later


Inside, I emailed my sisters and brother to let them know about my visit. They were anxious to hear. Bill and I sat together for an hour before supper. I warmed up meatloaf in the microwave, cooked cauliflower for me and mixed veggies for Bill. We had a nice meal and had dishes done by 7. It’s another day without many pictures but there just weren’t any ‘candid’ moments, I guess. Mom is beautiful, no matter how she is right now, but not for the camera.

An almost duplicate sunset to last nights

This was a very good day and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’m just happy that I was strong enough to bear the tears and that Mom couldn’t see them.

A picture of my lovely Mom 2 years ago
She still has that smile, just without the teeth!
Good night!

Thank you for your visit today!

20 comments:

  1. My thoughts & prayers are with all of you during this difficult time. Hugs to you.

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  2. What a precious visit with your mom,I am so glad you were allowed to have it. God bless her, you and all your family.
    - Mary

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  3. So glad you had a good visit. I hope there are more to come in spite of everything. Hugs and prayers.

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  4. Oh Patsy, what a tough time for you and your family. You and yours are in my thoughts.

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  5. This is such a tough time for you. My Mom passed a year ago after being in a nursing home for 5 years. Broken leg from a fall ended her life. Still not a day goes by that I think of something to ask her and she's not there. Tough times.
    Don in Okla.

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    1. Thank you Don. That would be very tough losing your Mom when she was still coherent. This will be hard enough for us even though ours hasn't 'answered' anything for many months. :(

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  6. We'll have all of you in our prayers. The time in our lives we all find difficult. Maybe it's a good thing that you won't be going south this year.
    Rick and Kathy

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    1. Thank you Rick and Kathy. It is absolutely a good thing we are home this winter. Sad to say, but for Mom, we do hope she goes to visit Daddy in heaven soon. :(

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  7. Sad that this is how it has to be in order for you to be able to see your mom, but we are glad that you were able to spend time with her. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

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  8. Hugs to you! It's too bad that this has to happen in order for you to be able to visit whenever you want. I swear some of these rules are so ridiculous. Enjoy your visits for as long as possible and treasure every moment as I'm sure you and your siblings will. Your daddy will be waiting with open arms.

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  9. I'm sorry to hear your mom is failing, but grateful you are able to spend some time sitting with her. She may not know who you are, but I'm sure she feels the love and comfort of having you there. I can tell you from my own experience, it will be comforting to you too, after she has left you. I think back to the time my brother and I spent with mom and, later, dad and am grateful for every minute of it.

    Thinking of you and your mom. Take care and stay well.

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  10. Patsy I am so sorry to hear about your mom but I'm so happy for you and your siblings that you are able to visit with her as much as you want during this time. I know there have been so many family members in our area and my own family that were unable to spend those last days with their family member before they passed because of this disease. I just can't imagine that. Like Maebeme said - it will be comforting to you later. I can still remember many details visiting with both my mom and dad prior to their passing, even though my mom's been gone almost 28 years. They are precious memories! Hugs!

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  11. Patsy I am thinking of you and know you must have a heavy heart. Hopefully you get another chance to visit your mom and to give her a hug. It's good if you and your siblings are able to see her and to let her know that she is loved. Keep up your spirits and remember all the good times with her.

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  12. I am thinking of you and the rest of the family as you navigate this difficult time.

    God bless.

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  13. So many good memories of your Mom and some of the trips and visits we had with her in the Village.

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