Feeling Better About Our Upcoming Decision

Tuesday was a day filled with appointments to view Long Term Care Homes for Mom. At 10 am I left to go to Hanover so I could meet up with my sisters, Donna and Gayle. I was early so made a quick stop to see Mom. After discovering that she was not in her room, we found that she had been taken down to an exercise class!

Mom exercising
Through the "looking glass"

I was invited to pop in and watch but decided it would only distract Mom from participating so stayed outside the glass windows and snapped a few pictures. I remember in 2010 when we moved her here, she said that the exercise classes were just 'silly, little things' like lifting your legs, moving your arms etc. “What kind of exercise is that?”

Enjoying the 'silly little things" 

Today, she seemed right at home sitting in a chair tossing a ball up and catching it, squeezing it to stretch her hands and fingers and raising it up and down.  I know I was being sneaky with my camera but my heart was swelling, watching her, so pleased that they were including her in the activity. I watched for a few minutes and then left without my hug.

Donna made us up some scrambled eggs while we waited for Gayle and then we headed out. We viewed 4 homes in the vicinity and have walked away with a better feeling than we had when first receiving the information about moving Mom into one. Naturally, some were better than others but basically three of the four we toured are very acceptable and we think Mom would settle in nicely.

There is an unquestionable first choice, of which she is first on the wait list. It is a beautiful place that is right in Hanover, Mom’s current village of residency and we have a close second, 10 minutes to the west. One she can bring in her own furniture, right down to her bed and the other only allows a swap out of a comfy sitting chair, all other necessary furniture provided.

So, now we have to contact CCAC again to get a couple of questions answered before putting Mom on the list for 3 of the above homes. We were pleasantly surprised with the cost and they were all close in price according to the Ministry guidelines. It will be nice to have her settled in a place that offers 24-hour care including personal care without the added costs we are paying now.

It was a beautiful day to be out and about and even nicer to get this done together. I hope you all enjoyed your day as well.

How can something that is dying be so pretty? How I wish
we could all leave this world looking so beautiful!

Trees changing

Thank you for stopping in, your comments are always welcome!

Unexpected News - I'm not crazy about it

Monday, my sister Donna and I met at Mom’s Village apartment. We found her lying down but she was up immediately when she saw who it was. Donna had briefed her the previous day that we were coming and so is a lady from CCAC. (Community Care and Access). She didn’t remember, but that was expected.

Village life last fall

Getting familiar with the organ again

Family reunion with my children

Mom at an earlier stage loved the outdoors

She is currently living in an Assisted Living situation, where she gets cued for meals and her pills dispensed for her. Donna has taken care of her housekeeping once a week as well as her laundry. We pay for the meal cueing and med dispensing, or should I say Mom does and the Veteran’s Affairs pays for the cleaning. That was the way it was up until Mom had her upset with the tumor/surgery/recovery.                                                

3 of her geographically closest daughters

                                                          

Mom and her beautiful smile

When she came home from the hospital she needed help, naturally, with more things. We have found it necessary to get some help for Mom with her everyday routines. Getting up, washed, dressed etc. as well as getting ready for bed in the evening. Because of her dementia she doesn’t always remember to do the everyday things that are normal to you and I. As sad as that is, it is a fact of her life so it is time to step in and get her the assistance she needs.

Mom gets a kick out of selfies even if she
doesn't quite understand it

The staff at The Village have been excellent and have assigned help with the morning and evening process as well as sending someone up at every meal time to take her down and bring her back to her apartment. This is wonderful, however, very costly. Mom is a Veteran so qualifies for a plethora of benefits but sometimes it is like pulling teeth. If a service is provided ‘free’ by the province (CCAC) we have to go that route first.

An Easter gathering

Back to our visit from Lisa on Monday. The three of us sat around and even though Donna and I remained quiet for the most part, many questions directed at Mom were met with flippancy, sarcasm or even frustration simply because she had the attention and it is a cover up when you don’t know the answer. At these times, we would provide the information required. We know Mom’s needs and want to get her the help on a daily basis if possible.

Where we get our sense of humour
Mom turning 90

After half an hour or so we were asked to step out into a private area so Lisa could chat with us without Mom hearing. Mom is no fool and let us go with a “I know you are going to talk so I can’t hear you”. God love her. Outside, we were given the unexpected news that according to her assessment, we needed to start looking at prospective long term care homes.

Donna and I

That hit like a rock and there were two sisters sitting there looking at each other with a dazed look in their eyes, absorbing this information. OMG, here we were thinking that Mom was generally improving for the most part, although we really didn’t know just what the staff had been dealing with over the last week. So, given this information there was naught to do but act on the recommendation.

It isn’t going to be an easy step to take, not so much for Mom, but for the rest of us. Two of four sisters who live closest to Mom go south for the winter, one is younger and a single mom with a full time job and the other, her power of attorney. Two other sisters and a brother live in farther reaches of this country, Alberta, Quebec and northern Ontario so they can only provide support from afar.

Rare occasion of all of us together

This is a move we need to act on now, at least by means of checking out the homes in the vicinity, get her on a waiting list and either hope it comes together before December or not until April or May when more of us are available. No matter when or where, Mom is the priority and we need to make this transition as painless as possible. With her dementia accelerating to the degree it is, I believe it will be an easier move than 6 years ago when we sold her possessions and moved her here.

2010 Garage sale prior to house sale

                                                

I hope I’m right.

Thank you for reading and feel free to comment.