The Day After Isn’t Much Better

The Ridge

We didn’t sleep, really. Maybe a few hours each but when I got up before the 6 o’clock alarm on Thursday, June 27^th I was pushing myself. Getting ready and off to my job sure helped me to get the mojo rising. Thanks, Jim Morrison, for that reference. I found that I was too busy focusing on the work to let the sad thoughts in.

Before I go too far, Bill and I want to thank everyone for their kind, heart-wrenching words in yesterday’s comments on here and on Facebook. Thank you all. So many of you have been through this with your own beloveds and your support and encouragement to relive the memories of Clemson mean more than you know. We’ll get through it but not over it.

Not much to take pictures of today
My heart wasn't in it either
I love the old buildings in Mount Forest and Arthur

I was an hour at the Mat and left the place looking spotless. The drive home was calm enough but when I stepped inside, realization hit hard again and I lost it to tears. Bill was in the shower and made reference to the number of comments on my blog. We each had some yogourt and I had my tea before we drove to Costco in Guelph around 8:30. With Bill not working in London this week, we wanted to top up our groceries. It was nice that our CPP’s were in the bank a bit early.

It is about 90 minutes to Guelph and Costco is on this end so we didn’t spend much time in traffic before arriving. We found our stuff and always extra things not on our list fall into the cart somehow. 😊  The gas price was pretty good at $1.13/litre so we filled Ptooties up before following directions to Regency Fireplace Products. No, we weren’t looking for a fireplace but we were looking for my daughter, the Ops Manager.

Bridgette's nice new building that she helped design

She was on the phone in her office so her two girls out front entertained us as we sat in Bridgette’s ‘book’ wing back chairs. The pattern is hard cover books and so very typical of my book worm. I wish I'd taken a picture. The last time there, it wasn’t finished so this was a treat to see where she spends her daylight hours. We didn’t stay long as we wanted to get home and she had a scheduled conference call in a few minutes. It was nice to see her and get a teddy bear hug for our loss.

Maybe this isn't the actual original structure
but it is made to look as if it is

It was going to be 1:30 or so by the time we reached home so we decided a stop at A & W was in order. I would have ordered bacon and eggs but we were an hour past breakfast hours. Instead I had a chicken bacon ranch wrap on a white tortilla and onion rings. Not exactly avoiding the carbs but taking the lesser of two evils and avoiding a bun and fries. I couldn’t eat all the rings nor could I finish the root beer but it was all good for a fast food meal. Neither of us was that hungry anyway.

This one looks original

Just as we got into Arthur, on #6 highway, Bill asked if I could take over driving. As I said, neither of us got much sleep last night and on the drive there, I was able to close my eyes at least. So, I got us home and we unloaded the groceries and crashed upstairs in the heat of the bedroom. I opened all the windows and dropped off. I don’t know when Bill got up but I slept for an hour and a half. You dream when you sleep but you don’t think at least so there were no tears this time.

Yah - no, didn't do it for me
Don't have much of an appetite anyway

The rest of the day was just lazing around for me. I took my book down and sat outside the Hangar in the shade. It was hot out there yet too warm to stay indoors. Bill managed to finish painting his trim by 7:30 but at 6:00 I came up and made us each a sandwich. His was a grilled cheese and mine was leftover Rueben but on my keto bread. It looks better than it tasted so I only ate about 3 bites before just eating the innards. Can’t get it past my tongue although I’ve tried!

Yay, we got stopped by a red light
so I had a nice view of this church

My sister and brother-in-law called to see if we were up for a visit tomorrow afternoon. They just heard about Clemson too and were overdue for a visit to the Ridge. That will be nice to see them for coffee or whatever. We cleaned up dishes and I sat finishing my glass of milk. I don’t drink it often but with this meal, it just made sense. Jess and Matt texted checking on what they need to bring for their visit on July 4^th and then my Mother-in-law called to express condolences to us both.

We keep pinching ourselves. Is this real? What have we done? Why did it have to happen now? We have discussed many times over the past year, since his vestibular disease, the different possible scenarios. What all would/could we do, how long we’d wait before doing anything and on and on. We are still convinced this was the right thing. We still beat ourselves up a bit, don’t we? Bill mentioned last night that the little guy was to the point of sleeping for 90% of his day so his body was tiring out. That makes it easier to take.

Gas was pretty good but diesel prices were awesome
We got our gas at Costco for .06¢ less

The rest of the evening was just quiet. I still have a few bites from over the last few days. The hardest part is that you don’t even realize you’re getting eaten until the next day. I sprayed some of the Pest Away product my girlfriend sent me and I’m hoping that the lovely lemongrass and lavender scent will do the trick. In the meantime, a welt on my neck is driving me nuts and a new bout of shingles on my lower back is itchy as heck. I said to Bill that I’m falling apart, restless and can’t sit comfortably. My ‘shun’ is missing from my gump and my ‘gung’ has deserted the ho. Figure that one out!

This was just a few days after we brought Clemson  home
He won our hearts from that day forward
Good night y'all!

On the up side, my book, Lee Child’s ‘Die Trying’, has grabbed me from Chapter 1. It is one of his first stories featuring Jack Reacher. So, I’ll get some of that read tonight before I give in to another mindless sleep. I hope your day was a good one.

Thank you for your thoughts.